My anxiety is rooted in the feeling of responsibility
July 24, 2015
95 percent of things I do I have no clue what I’m doing
May 12, 2015
This morning I had a discussion with my Dad, who has invested a lot of money in my venture, and I said we are going well with the product, but it’s n...
'they didn’t, in my opinion, see that I was actually really running a company'
October 27, 2017
My family expects different things than I expect for myself, and it does weigh on me. My father, especially. I have family whom are quite normal and w...
' At one point I had to invest almost all my personal savings and even that of my children'
October 27, 2017
Setting up your business is really difficult and hard. Especially with my type of business because you need a rather big sum of money to get started and keep it going. At one point I had to invest almost all my personal savings and even that of my children, and that caused a lot of stress and doubt. I began drinking and eating a lot—it’s what I do when something brings a lot of uncertainty and anxiety. But of course, it’s only a short-term reliever—in the end it doesn’t really help. Anyway, when I had to invest my money and my kids’, I felt like I walked next to a cliff and could see the bottom. People said that I wasn’t doing the right things, making the right choices, but I managed to keep my head above water and take care of things. This was extremely stressful, all the uncertainty involved in running out of money and also the possibility of losing your employees—this is a big fear for a startup. However, I think this kind of anxiety can be useful because it makes you more alter about certain opportunities, and more innovative and smart. For example, you can structure deals a few days after when they are officially closed so they fall into the next tax quarter, or delay certain payments—diversifying cash flow—or make smart savings or combine certain tools. Without my worries about running out of money I would not be so innovative. To say it entrepreneurial terms, it made me think more ‘lean’.