My anxiety is rooted in the feeling of responsibility
July 24, 2015
95 percent of things I do I have no clue what I’m doing
May 12, 2015
This morning I had a discussion with my Dad, who has invested a lot of money in my venture, and I said we are going well with the product, but it’s n...
'they didn’t, in my opinion, see that I was actually really running a company'
October 27, 2017
My family expects different things than I expect for myself, and it does weigh on me. My father, especially. I have family whom are quite normal and w...
'How did we manage to do that mistake?'
July 22, 2015
Our startup was just about to launch. Then, we had some trouble with our payment system. It just didn’t work out as fast as we thought. So, in my head, it was the problem that we had our first clients. We did promise them that the payment system would be working a few days before their launch of their event. These were our first clients who worked very hard to make the concept work and everything and also to get their clients on board. I totally freaked out that we might need to tell these clients that it was not happening. In my head, it was so severe and so serious because this was our first client and our first encounter with entrepreneurship and business matters in general. How did we manage to do that mistake? Two days I went from feeling guilty to frustrated to anger, but I was also thinking about what is the right thing to do now. You can stay for ten days like that but it is not helping. I talked to my co-founder, to my boyfriend, my roommate, my mother. I’m that kind of person that when I am happy everybody notices it, but when I am frustrated I cannot pretend. So, everybody notice this as well. People asked what is happening, so I shared. They gave me a lot of advice. Of course, most of it was not relevant because they were not in that situation. Some people also just didn’t get it. One pillar of my anxiety was that this is our company, our first company, our baby and we care about it. The other pillar, which counts equally, is the disappointment from human to human, where we promised and I had given my word. It is the responsibility that you would be one who would deeply humanly disappoint them. I would even say it was beyond the business. Additionally, with startups you have a lot of uncertainty. Sometimes it is very difficult when you are not experienced, when it is not your fifth company. It is very difficult to say: okay, in this case it is wise to tell them in advance or to wait? We can win and everything will be okay, but we could also fail harder, if it fails in the last minute.