'Something has to happen, I need to change something'
The main driver of anxiety in my view is the financial aspect. Everything is okay until you get to the moment of an existential crisis and you find yourself in a financial desert. Then you can’t get out of it. You can’t relativize that. You just don't have a backup anymore. If you know that in a few months, you can’t pay rent anymore. That really sucks. I didn’t know this feeling in the first few months, but then I had this one night. I woke up and I thought: shit, you can’t continue like that. Something has to happen, I need to change something, I can’t live like the last few months! That was a moment I’ll never forget in my whole life. You just lie there and think: no, no, no. It completely blocks you and you are not quite yourself. You fall into some kind of trance or blackout. You feel depressed and lethargic. You ask yourself how you can continue and how everything can work out. I remember that I thought: so, that is an existential crisis. That's the thing others talk about all the time. It was a new experience that I never had before. On one hand it was frightening and depressing, on the other hand it really depends on your attitude towards life. It can be very decisive how you handle this situation. Can you deal with it and accept that you have to learn something new in your life or do you demoralize? You accept the worst case and you notice that even in the worst case you don’t die! Of course you’re shocked, but you also know that this is not the end of the world. I have the support of my family and friends who will always catch me if something goes wrong. I talk to them a lot and also with other entrepreneurs who I met in an entrepreneur association. That really helps to get a perspective and to get out of this low!