'why didn’t I choose the solid way'
I started my company last year in November as I discovered a market niche. Unfortunately, it is quite hard to live on it completely. I really need to continue and push harder to make it profitable. There are always these ups and downs. Sometimes I’m really euphoric, if something goes well. But then there are those weeks where it doesn’t go so well. And then you notice that you bank account is not as plumb as it could be. All the money I earn goes back into the project. Or parts of my basic strategy just fall away. That’s the moment where I ask myself, why didn’t I choose the solid way. You have this anxiety that everything you do might be for nothing in the end. If the project doesn’t work out or doesn’t make a jump ahead, everything I did is in vain and I could have used my time and effort in a better way. It’s also an ego-thing. It would be a personal defeat if my project doesn’t work out. In these moments I fall into a bit of a crisis if everything makes sense and if it is the right thing. I get lazy, lose my motivation and just droop for a few days. Then it’s better to lose these days and give yourself some time to get out of this low. I don’t talk much with others in these times as it feels a bit like admitting a weakness. I just hang then on my sofa or I go out and party with friends to get my mind of things. That gives my new energy to continue.