Was that my fault?
I think a bit of anxiety is always there. I have learned more and more to sort of cope with that. It doesn’t cause me stress most of the time, I might be thinking about it but it’s quite easy to not bother with it. Most of the time it doesn’t cause me stress, while at certain points its very strong. For example, when our illustrator one day decided, sorry I can’t do this anymore I’m going to leave, then we have a big problem. Then your like, how are we going to cope with this? Now its alright, we came out of it very fine, but at that point it was like, shit what should I do? That was the same when we started our first pilot at the university. We needed to do some final tests, we knew some aspects of the product weren’t perfect but we still had a week to fix all those things and we were really confident that we could do that. I told the teaches at the university that if there is something that doesn’t work well then give me a call and I can explain and we can fix it right away. They didn’t call, so I thought that is going well. On Friday afternoon 5pm I just received an email and they said we just found somethings that don’t work and we don’t think you can fix them in a week and so we will not do the pilot. This was the first big thing we’d been working for four months on end towards. It was really not clear what was not working. Then at that point then it becomes very strong, did we just completely mess up? Was that my fault? What should I do now? At some points its very very strong, anxiety is always there but doesn’t normally cause me stress, but it comes in very big peaks I think.